Twas the Morning After Halloween
by Zandra's Ashes
Summary: John and Elizabeth find themselves entangled quite literally. Hilarity ensues as they embark on a mission of damage control and a quest to keep their relationship a secret on Atlantis.
1. Chapter 1

Twas the morning after Halloween, and all through Atlantis no one was stirring not even a mouse.

The staff members were nestled all snug in their beds, visions of alcohol laced fruit punch spinning through their heads.

When in Elizabeth's quarters, there arose such a clatter; she prayed none would come to see what was the matter.

"John this isn't funny anymore, where's the damn key!" Elizabeth forehead protested the heights to which her arched eye was reaching. But arching her eyebrow was the only dignified response her body could provide now. She was tangled in the bed sheets which now tethered her legs to the bed while the top half of her body twisted painfully against the floor. She'd stopped laughing the moment he'd dropped to his knees to search the floor forgetting she'd be dragged along with him.

"Sorry, are you okay?" John reached out with his free hand to pull her back to a seated position in the bed.

"Why would I be okay? You've got to get out of here, it's almost dawn. Sometime after that, we have a staff meeting. For which I need to get dressed and right now not a single one of those things is possible John!"

John had the grace to look apologetic. He reached his hands up to run his fingers through his hair, resulting in her limp arm smacking him in the face. She bit down on her lip, but even in her frustration, she couldn't prevent the pearls of laughter from escaping her lips at his shocked expression.

"Seriously John, you _had _to be a cop for Halloween." She wagged her finger him using the hand that was not currently handcuffed to his own.

"In my defense, it was Rodney's idea. Starsky and Hutch?" She could see him work to plant his most charming smile upon his face.

"That's a terrible defense John. Rodney's idea? You should have known it would end badly." Elizabeth was shaking her head.

She allowed him to untangle the sheets and help her from the bed as they began to search the floor for the missing key.

"Well next year I'll go as a lemon and I'll be even with him." He raised his eyebrow waiting for her response.

Elizabeth snorted as she pictured Rodney's face with a giant lemon approaching him. She did love Halloween. But maybe not the morning after.

"Besides you were the one dressed up as an outlaw. I _had_ to use the handcuffs." John pretended to be indignant.

"Annie Oakley was not an outlaw John." Elizabeth was shaking her head sadly looking at their cuffed hands wondering how on earth they would escape this one. Without a key, they would have to enlist the help of someone. Their secret relationship was about to be revealed unless they could think of some other way.

Hours later John and Elizabeth sat side by side on the bed. A wild array of earrings, bobby pins, safety pins, straight pins, thread, scissors, tape and sewing needles lay on the bedside table. While none of them managed to open the lock, they had been quite useful in dressing. Thankfully, John had stashed one spare uniform in her room in case he ever overslept and couldn't slip away. Unfortunately, neither of them could pull a shirt up their arms while handcuffed.

Elizabeth's mouth pressed together. There were _a lot_ of things they couldn't do. Shouldn't do rather, she was still mortified by their rather comical antics as they tried to create some sort of privacy in the bathroom that morning. She could defiantly say they would be much much closer after this whole experience.

They had ended up cutting the hem out of their sleeves and trying to sew them back together. Elizabeth's arm itched uncomfortably because of all the tape they ended up using to close up the seams. They had found it rather hard to sew clothes that were on a person and were poking each other with the needle a little too often. They'd finally realized the blood stains would give them away and hence, the tape.

Elizabeth was shaking her heard. "Are we really going to do this? I can still postpone the meeting."

"We can't just hide in here all day; though there are multiple reasons why I'd love to do so. We need to get out there, someone probably picked it up at the party or it could even still be there in the floor somewhere. If we can find it, no one will find out." John said earnestly.

Elizabeth looked down to their joined wrists and rolled her eyes. There was no way they would get away with this. Elizabeth had draped a long shawl around her shoulders; it hung far enough to cover her arms if she folded it. She planned to tell everyone she might be sick, she'd been feeling a bit chilled. Hopefully, that might even back people up as they tried to avoid her germs.

John had plotted out the shortest route to her office. He insisted if she put her arm just behind her while hidden under the shawl and he walked just a step behind her no one would notice. Their only hope was the early hour of the day. It was still early; the hallways would hopefully still be deserted. But she wasn't sure how he thought they could perform a search for a missing key and no one notice.

"My diary!" Elizabeth jumped up, but John's hand swiveled to grasp her wrist and pull her back. "Sorry. We can ask them to look for the key for us. Just tell them I lost the key to my diary last night. We stay safe in my office and the staff can look."

John scrunched his face as he considered it. "It could work, the key was pretty small."

Elizabeth felt a glimmer of hope; they might pull this off after all.

With his free hand, John pulled her chin gently towards his face. "I am sorry Elizabeth."

She couldn't resist his puppy dog eyes. She closed the gap between them pressing her lips against his and gently gnawing on his lower lip before she pulled away. "Well, it _was _fun. Until we couldn't find the key anyway." She smirked.

A/N: Definitely not the end, they are not getting out of this without some serious Atlantis funnies!


	2. Chapter 2

"John, you usually sit over there." Elizabeth indicated the empty chair in the conference room.

"Yeah, well how do you suggest I do that now?" John pulled up their handcuffed wrists.

"Well I know you can't, what I meant was, they're going to notice." Elizabeth sighed.

"They aren't going to notice." He said before biting down on his lip. John's forehead had crumpled adorably and she could see him mulling it over.

Elizabeth sighed again. "All we can do is tell them you're worried about me because I don't feel well. For the record, it wouldn't be a lie. My stomachs been churning since I realized we were actually going through with this." Elizabeth said rubbing her forehead absentmindedly.

"Headache?" John asked. "Me too. Remind me to never again drink punch Cadman's been anywhere near."

Elizabeth stifled her giggle when she saw the others approaching. He wasn't wrong though, the punch had been lethal. She hated to admit there were moments in time from the previous night she couldn't quite wrap her mind around.

John stood as his team entered, granting the couple an illusion of distance as their hands were hidden beneath the table. Teyla was the first to enter, looking entirely too rested and refreshed. Elizabeth was momentarily jealous, but filed the thought away for later. Teyla had put away more punch than any of them; she must have secrets worth revealing on her speedy recovery.

"I think you were wise to schedule today's meeting later Elizabeth, the crew seems to be getting off to a bit of a rocky start. " Teyla said suppressing a small smile.

If only she knew Elizabeth thought, biting down on her lip to keep from groaning and trying to _not_ look at John.

Ronon walked in just as Teyla was sitting. He stood looking back and forth from John to Elizabeth. Elizabeth felt herself begin to squirm beneath his gaze. "Your customs are strange." He said flatly.

Elizabeth exhaled the breath she hadn't realized she'd been holding. She tentatively glanced up at John who didn't seem as relived as she would have thought. He almost looked guilty. Maybe he just felt bad because they had kept this secret from his team. For months now. She knew how close his team had become; it had to be hard for John to not share this part of his life with them.

John's voice roused her from her reverie. "What makes you say that?" John asked Ronon.

"Have you seen McKay?" Ronan asked as he sat.

John watched Ronon warily before easing himself into the chair to Elizabeth's right. Just then McKay scurried into the room.

"Sorry I'm late; I've been having the worst time in the lab this morning. Everyone must be still be drunk, they can't stop giggling. I sent them all back to bed, they were totally useless to me. As always, I have to take care of everything myself. Hey, are you going to eat that?" McKay snatched the last pastry on the tray Ronon had been eyeing.

Elizabeth was in the midst of trying to compose herself and clean the table from where she'd just snorted coffee through her nose. She was coughing now uncontrollably as her attempts to quell her laughter seemingly angered her lungs. John was swabbing napkins at the spilt coffee and Elizabeth would swear his skin had taken on a purplish tone of red. Teyla just sat still and composed except for the perfect O shaped expression her lips had formed into. Elizabeth's gaze finally fell to Ronon who was leaning forward and nodding with a smug I told you so look upon his face.

McKay kept prattling along as he chewed. "I've finally figured out a way…"

Elizabeth rubbed her head again and Rodney's voice fell away. Focus, she implored herself, just get through this meeting and John can organize a team to start the search for the key. She took another sip of coffee and became aware of an uncomfortable pressure in her lower abdomen. She edged the coffee away further back on the table.

"So anyway, I've been in the lab all night, I didn't even go to my room after the party. I've done everything I can from there, so if it's okay with you, I'd like to take a team to the Ancient lab, it's on one of the lower levels. Hopefully I can see what the ancients were going to use it for." McKay said in summary.

"You're sure you've had enough rest Rodney?" Elizabeth didn't dare to meet his eyes not to mention she hadn't heard a word about what he thought the lab was actually for. "Okay but be careful."

"Sheppard, you want to come?" McKay's voice softened to a sweet hopeful tone that reminded Elizabeth of a school boy asking another if he wanted to be his friend.

"Sorry McKay, I've got a search and rescue op to run. Unless you want to join in on that?" John challenged knowing Rodney was never a huge fan of anything he thought would put him in danger.

"No,no,no, sounds like fun and all, but I think I'll have to pass on this one…partner. Besides we don't get paid extra to kill people right?" McKay smiled proudly as he quoted from Starsky and Hutch.

"All right then remember Hutch, there are rules." Sheppard said taking McKay's bait.

"Yes, of course, the coffee goes on the ground. Okay, okay."

Sheppard was getting wound up now in their game. "There are rules. You do not bang on the hood. You never under any circumstances drive. And you will certainly not put your coffee mug on the roof of the car. In fact, no coffee in the car whatsoever. Coffee goes on the ground."

Elizabeth rolled her eyes in their direction, but they were oblivious. They could be such…boys, she thought, though the corners of her mouth were still undeniably raised.

"Fine, fine, my coffee will be on the ground." McKay prattled as he exited the room.

One second of dead silence fell before the rest of them broke into hysterical laughter. "I can't…believe…no one told him!" Elizabeth sputtered.

"You can only imagine what his team in the lab thought; no wonder Rodney thought they were still drunk. They were probably laughing too hard to stand with him there shouting orders still wearing that blonde wig!" Teyla laughed.

"On the bright side, he's less vain then we all thought. He obviously hasn't even looked in the mirror at all today." John said, causing their laughter to accelerate once again.

Elizabeth's sides were starting to hurt now. She crossed her legs as the furious laughing reminding her again to slow down on liquid consumption.

"Like I said, your customs are weird." Ronon said, the only one of the four managing to retain some semblance of dignity.

"Who are you to judge? If I'm Starsky and McKay's Hutch, you must be Huggy Bear our street wise informant." John smirked.

"If I'm Huggy Bear, then Hutch owes me a good waitress." Ronon quoted the show dead pan.

"You've been watching the DVD's, that TV show was a classic." John said in appreciation. Ronon nodded in agreement.

Tears were streaming from Elizabeth's eyes faster than she could wipe them away. She'd thought Chewie was bad, but Huggy Bear?

"Elizabeth?" Carson's voice carried over the radio.

She took a deep breath and tried to respond. "Go…go ahead Carson." She was fighting to quell her laughter.

"Elizabeth, I just found a tiny key in the most curious of places. Anyway, I wasn't sure if anyone had reported one missing, but if so, I'm on my way up to your office now. If not, you can secure it away for safekeeping. I'm sure someone will notice it missing eventually." Carson said.

The laughter fell flat in Elizabeth's chest. She met John's eyes whose cautious excitement mirrored her own. "Understood Carson, thank you."

"All right then _Huggy Bear_, I believe we are scheduled to teach some scientists self defense shortly." Teyla said.

They exited the conference room, leaving John and Elizabeth still staring at each other. "See I told you, everything's going to be fine." John said squeezing her fingers under the table.

"I hope you're right John." Because nothing ever comes that easily to us she thought. She would not be happy until that key was in her hand.

"Dr. Beckett, I've just left the infirmary and they need you to get up there. Dr. Weir, shouldn't be anything to worry about. The med tech said it looked like Kavanaugh has a burst appendix, he'll be okay but he needs immediate surgery." Lorne's voice called over the radio.

"Aye, on my way." Carson responded.

Elizabeth leapt to her feet and as she and John reached the door of the conference room, they spotted Beckett doing a sharp U-turn before stepping back onto the transport. The doors whooshed shut.

"Kavanaugh!" Elizabeth was somehow not surprised that _he_ had managed to sabotage her freedom.

"Carson? This is Elizabeth." Elizabeth received no response. "Dr. Beckett!"

"Elizabeth, he always takes off his radio during surgery, he's probably already turned it off." John attempted to soothe her.

"I'll try Keller, tell her to get the key. There's got to be nurses, someone up there we can call. He can leave the key with them before he goes into surgery. We can send Lorne back." Elizabeth strategized.

"We don't want to look desperate Elizabeth, that'll only draw attention." John's fingers began threading through her own, trying again to reassure her.

"I am desperate, John. I have to go to the ladies room." Elizabeth finally confided. She was not anxious to repeat this morning's performance either.

John's forehead furrowed as he scanned the crowded room before them. "Dr. Keller, this is Sheppard. Dr. Keller? Lorne?"

A/N: Hope the Starsky and Hutch thing isn't getting annoying yet, if you don't know what they look like, you really ought to Google a pic. TV show, not movie. It'll make you laugh after reading this, promise, if for nothing more than the glance at Starsky's hair!

Thanks for the reviews and story alert subscriptions, I hope you enjoyed. Stay tuned, their adventure is far from over!


	3. Chapter 3

"Kavanaugh!" Elizabeth spewed.

"It's not like he did it on purpose…" John stopped talking when he spotted the fury in her eyes.

"If he knew John, if he knew we were handcuffed together and Carson held the key which is our only hope to getting through this day unscathed, I swear he would find a way." Elizabeth was furious. And frantic.

Now they would have to cross through the halls of Atlantis and enter her quarters in broad daylight so they could enter a bathroom without everyone seeing _that_. Elizabeth would be the first to agree that was just a little too close, even for couples, which they weren't even supposed to be. And then she would have to pretend she wasn't mortified as she tried to daintily use the facilities with John just inches away. Though he was kind enough to somewhat turn as he closed his eyes.

They decided to duck into her office for a few minutes as they awaited the location of the key.

"Dr. Weir? It's Keller. I just checked with Carson and he said he'd given the key to Major Lorne. He met him on the way back to the infirmary. Hope that helps."

"Lorne, its Sheppard. What's your location?" John bit down on his lip as they waited. "Major?"

Elizabeth stood tugging John along with her when she realized she couldn't wait any longer. They could find Lorne…after.

"Just give him a minute; I think he was helping Teyla and Ronon with the training class today, by now he could be in the middle of a lesson." John maneuvered around to rest against Elizabeth's desk as she faced her. His free hand moved to trace the bare skin just peeking through at her waist where her shirt and pants were supposed to meet. "I could try to distract you."

She gasped lightly, surprised at his boldness. Her office was in full view of everyone and his head was tucking closer and closer to her own as his fingers splayed across the skin of her waist creeping up ever so softly under the hem of her shirt. Her nerves were beginning to hum with pleasure when the door to her office whooshed open.

John jerked back too fast; Elizabeth's shoulder felt like it had been wrenched from its socket as she stumbled trying to regain solid footing. "Teyla." She tried to issue a better greeting, but it was the best she could do.

"Are you okay?" Teyla asked as she crossed the room looking more amused than concerned.

"Yes, fine. Have you seen Major Lorne?" Elizabeth said.

"Yes, as a matter of fact, I just came down to get him a replacement radio. His was damaged during the training."

"You guys almost finished?" John asked his eyes glancing sideways at Elizabeth.

"Just a short while longer. Shall I tell him you'd like to speak with him?" Teyla asked.

"Yes! Carson gave him something to bring to us. We've just been waiting…"Elizabeth was doing a lousy job of trying to conceal the increasing desperation in her voice.

"Lorne has the key? You two are still locked together?"Teyla said as if that would be the most natural thing in the world to be handcuffed.

"When did you tell her?" Elizabeth gasped. "How? "

"He didn't tell me. Ronon did." Teyla said.

"Now wait a minute, I didn't tell Ronon. We're handcuffed, you would have heard me!" John protested as he looked into Elizabeth's menacing glare.

"Ronon didn't tell me about the handcuffs. Though it seemed obvious to me after seeing you toying with them nonstop last night. This morning every time Elizabeth started laughing, your arm started shaking John. There was a distinct rattling sound. Like handcuffs. Also, you usually prefer to select a different chair for our meetings." Teyla said to John.

"I told you someone would notice that." Elizabeth said. "But Teyla, what exactly did Ronon tell you then?"

"That you two were romantically involved. I haven't said a word and I reminded him to do the same. We were both very pleased for you." Teyla smiled warmly.

"John?" Elizabeth turned to him in shock. Her skin instantly chilled as the realization that he'd betrayed their secret sunk in.

"Elizabeth, I should have told you he knew, but seriously the guy isn't a big talker, I didn't think he'd be running his mouth." John's face was scrunched in consternation.

Elizabeth could see he felt horribly, but she still didn't understand. "Why?" She asked quietly.

"He acquired quite the little collection of groupies a few missions back. He wanted to set me up with one of those women, thought I might be interested. I told him otherwise. He didn't push or ask why, but just a few days later he busted me leaving your quarters. There wasn't much I could do at that point." John admitted.

Elizabeth sighed, rubbing her temples. Hangovers were supposed to get better as the day moved along. Hers was growing worse by the moment.

"Elizabeth, can I get you some tea? You seem as though you feel unwell." Teyla asked.

Tea? Elizabeth started tugging John towards the door. "No thanks Teyla. Nature is calling, we have to discreetly get to my quarters. Maybe you could join us? If you walk us, it might not look so bad."

"Of course. Then I personally will retrieve the key from Lonre and return it to you there. I'm sure you would be more comfortable waiting in your quarters anyway.

"Thanks Teyla." John said. "Sorry we didn't tell you ourselves, it's just-"

"Say no more, I've come to understand the rules are…complicated among your people." Teyla smiled.

Elizabeth adjusted the shawl and tucked her arm back allowing John to walk a step beside her. Teyla placed herself somewhat between the two, providing additional coverage. Elizabeth almost tripped when she took her first step not realizing John wasn't ready. Hiding out in her quarters was beginning to sound better and better Elizabeth thought as the three plunged into the crowded control room.

Fifteen minutes later Elizabeth and John were cuddled up in her bed. Well, cuddled as much as they could manage. Teyla was trying to find Lorne who was wandering around Atlantis without a working radio. Elizabeth had not even bothered trying to do any work, her mind would definitely be elsewhere she thought as John's free hand massaged her wrist where the cuffs had been rubbing against it. Rest was a good idea anyway, they hadn't gotten any sleep last night and it would be too risky for the other things that usually occupied their time spent in bed. Teyla could return at any time.

So now, her laptop computer lay before them on the bed with a Starsky and Hutch DVD in. Elizabeth had become suddenly curious to learn more about the TV show that landed them in this situation.

"You know, I don't really see it." John said as he stared at the screen. "This was all McKay's idea, but I don't really see the resemblance."

Elizabeth shushed him, delighting in the school boyish look of dismay that crossed John's face when she did so.

**Starsky**: Oh, I wouldn't worry. I don't think you're in any danger for being mistaken for a real cop.  
**Hutch**: Oh really? Hey, why don't you do me a favor and go get yourself another perm and let the grown-ups talk.  
**Starsky**: For your information, my hair is naturally curly.  
**Hutch**: No it's not.  
**Starsky**: Yes it is.  
**Hutch**: That's a perm job all the way.  
**Starsky**: TOUCH IT.  
[_Hutch touches Starsky's hair_]  
**Captain Doby**: Hey. Why are you touching him? Jesus. You know something? You two deserve each other. Make nice. You two are partners.

Elizabeth looked at John, her eyebrow arched. "Seriously John? You don't see it?"

"His hair is _curly_, you heard him. Perm curly. This is all natural." John said waving his hand from side to side around his hair. "More manly." He said earnestly nodding his head up and down.

Elizabeth turned her attention back to the monitor, trying not to chuckle.

A/N:

_I am the Keymaster_…_Are you the Gatekeeper?_

Let me know if you have any requests for the story or suggestions for who ends up with the key in this soon to be crazy game of hot potato! I promise to cut back on the caffeine….and brownies!

Thanks for the reviews and story alerts! More on the way….


	4. Chapter 4

A/N: Sorry for the delay, life called and though I tried to pretend I was Papa John's, it would just not allow me to put it on hold.

As this started as a Halloween adventure and it is creeping up on Thanksgiving, I promise, I am getting this one wrapped up this week. Thanks for the feedback, I plan to put it all to use!

* * *

Elizabeth missed her bed. Dearly. Even more than that she was missing her dignity. That seemed to be plummeting to increasing lows each minute that passed. But now, she'd be happy to be curled back up in bed with John.

Currently, she was standing on a step ladder trying not to fall. John stood next to her holding Teyla by the ankles who stood on his shoulders peering into the ceiling panels above them.

"I am sorry; I still do not see it. Perhaps if we could get a taller ladder you could get up here yourself." Teyla's muffled voice drifted down to them.

"Teyla, there's got to be a camera in there somewhere, I've seen video feed from this corridor before and from this angle. We have to be close. "John said.

"You're sure you know what to do if we find it?" Elizabeth asked using her free hand to prop up her tiring other hand still tethered to John's wrist which was now fairly high above her head, even with the stepladder.

"Sure, you just take the clampy thing from the laptop and connect it to the wire on the camera and we've got ourselves a video feed. " John said.

"Yes, but Lorne obviously isn't in this hallway. How are we going to access _all_ of the video feed?" Elizabeth asked pointedly.

"Well….I haven't exactly figured that out yet. First things first. Teyla?"

"I may see something, John, I need to get a bit closer. "

John turned his eyes towards Elizabeth and she instantly had a bad feeling. "John no, whatever you are thinking I think this had gone far enough."

"You don't even know what I was going to say." John protested.

"I don't need to. It's going to end badly, that's all I need to know."

"You don't know that. Now listen…"

Five minutes later Elizabeth was standing on a chair, arms still stretched high in the sky. But now John stood on the stepladder with Teyla once again on his shoulders.

"I think I see it, pass me the clamp." Teyla called.

John wobbled a bit as he removed a hand from the stepladder to take the cord from Elizabeth. His other hand was still clamped firmly around Teyla's ankle.

"What's going on?" Ronan's deep voice emerged quite close to Elizabeth's ear.

Elizabeth hadn't heard him approach and couldn't still her body as she jolted with alarm at his appearance. She wavered into John and as she edged sideways on the chair to steady him, her chair buckled and she twisted to the ground bringing John and Teyla with her.

They lay in a mangled heap in the floor and as Elizabeth blinked her eyes trying to focus, she saw Ronon smirking down upon them. "Still handcuffed?"

Elizabeth looked beside her, finding John still looking confused. She brought her free hand around and whacked the back of his head.

"Hey! I didn't tell him okay. Look, he can see." John rubbed the back of his head nodding down towards their hands with his head.

Ronon was pulling Teyla to her feet.

"Are you okay?" Elizabeth frowned. That's all they needed, to hurt one of their friends who had been pressed into helping them conceal their secret. _That_ would be fun to explain to Carson. John stood up, helping Elizabeth to a standing position along with him. He seemed only to be worried about his head, so Elizabeth assumed no permanent damage had been done.

"I had a feeling this morning, but he didn't tell me. I got some knives, I could-"

"No!" Elizabeth, John and Teyla all cried at the same time.

Ronon shrugged, still smiling and totally unfazed. Elizabeth was timidly testing her ankle which protested whenever she tried to put weight on it. Great, just what they needed. If she didn't put too much weight on it…that wasn't so bad. Walk it out Elizabeth, toughen up she thought.

"Dr. Weir? We're having some problems with the internal communications systems. We have staff members all over the city coming to pick up new radios, but they don't seem to be working consistently. Do you copy? You might want to get down here and pick up one of other field radios."

"Thank you Chuck. Who is working on the issue?" Elizabeth asked.

"Zelenka. He seems to have it under control, we can bring up McKay from the lab-"

"That's all right Chuck; we won't do that unless Zelenka asks. I think Rodney would be more of a distraction today anyway." She thought picturing McKay flitting about oblivious to the fact he was still wearing a wig. She'd swear she could hear Chuck snickering through the radio.

"Yes Ma'am." Chuck's voice wavered.

Elizabeth turned and met John's eyes. She faltered for a moment, indulging in their warmth. There were so many other ways she'd prefer to be spending a day with him, but at least they were together. And she knew with certainty he was safe, unlike when he was offworld on a mission. Come to think of it, if they managed to get out of this with the handcuffs intact, she might have to stow them away. They could come in handy the next time he was hell bent on disobeying an order and trying to kill himself.

"What are you smiling about?" John asked.

"Oh, nothing. We'd better get moving." Elizabeth tried to hide her mischievous smile. She took a step and her knee buckled under her ankles protest. Her smile dissolved as her lips pressed together trying to mask her yelp of pain. Her eyes darted back to John as she realized she wasn't sure she could walk.


	5. Chapter 5

John instantly reached out to steady Elizabeth. She saw his eyes stretch beyond hers, looking towards Teyla and Ronon.

"John, your quarters are closer." Teyla said.

"No, we need to get to the control room." Elizabeth said firmly. This had gone on too long; she was quickly moving beyond her need to keep her relationship with John a secret. Their secret could not be allowed to put Atlantis at any kind of risk.

"Elizabeth, we're going to my quarters. Ronon can bring us the radio and then go find Lorne. Teyla can stay in the control room and keep an eye on things. We'll get Keller to come down and check out your ankle." John nodded towards Ronon and Teyla indicating for them to get moving.

Elizabeth fumed for a moment as she watched them leave. But as much as she hated feeling like she was losing control of the situation, she had to acknowledge how nice it was to let someone else share in the responsibilities with her, to take care of her even. She spotted Teyla and Ronon again before they exited the corridor and she couldn't suppress the smile from creeping back across her face. It was nice to have good friends as well, she thought.

Soon she found herself back where she wanted to be. Though John's bed was smaller, she reveled in the comfort the closeness of his body always gave her. She breathed him in aware he was tugging her closer and closer.

* * *

"McKay! How did you get in here?" John's voice rose louder with each word.

"Sheppard, are you off duty? Lorne told me to bring you this key but I- oh my god!" McKay's voice dropped to a whisper. "You have a _girl_ in here with you! Oh my god! Who is it?"

Elizabeth's eyes drifted down her body. A sheet lay haphazardly across her body, leaving the vast expanse of her legs bare and exposed. She burrowed down as far as she could allowing John's body, now turned sideways towards McKay, to grant her cover

"McKay, just toss over the key and leave, this is none of your business." John's voice emerged as a barely suppressed growl.

"Oh I don't think so, this is too good! If you want the key so badly, I think I'm entitled to a name. Or a face."

Elizabeth tried to burrow even deeper as she head McKay's boots scruff the floor as he dared to take a step closer.

"McKay!" John snapped.

Elizabeth could feel his muscles grow rigid beside her.

"Fine Sheppard, you want to play games, well have fun. I'm out of here and I'm taking the key with me."

"Rodney wait!" Elizabeth sprung up. She didn't care anymore; she just wanted this all to be over.

The look on McKay's face was almost worth it. He was doing a great imitation of a guppy with his mouth alternating between gaping open before snapping shut. She found herself almost smirking as she realized she finally managed to leave the man speechless. Then she realized the door was still open behind him.

"Oh my god, you're having sex with Elizabeth!" McKay shouted.

"Rodney!" Elizabeth and John shouted simultaneously.

But it was too late; the damage had already been done. Several crew members who had been passing by now stood frozen in the corridor looking inside John's quarters with open mouths. Elizabeth pulled the sheet closer to her body and began slinking back down onto the mattress, her heart pounding painfully. Her eyes pressed together and she welcomed the darkness and fought to drown out the voices that seemed to be assaulting her ears.

"Elizabeth!" She pulled the covers over her head now, hiding from even John's voice. "Elizabeth! Carson's here."

She grudgingly lowered the sheet beneath her eyes, as she did so she spotted the cuff of her shirt sleeves. She twisted her body gingerly and relief washed over her as she realized she was indeed fully dressed. She raised her head and found she'd only been dreaming. Or rather having a nightmare, she thought picturing McKay screaming into the corridor.

She sat up and started to stretch until she saw John's head barely moving from right to left warning her to not move.

Carson moved closer. "I'd of thought you'd have gotten the key by now, but I see you've gotten yourself in yet another bind." He indicated Elizabeth's swelling ankle.

Elizabeth turned her most scathing look upon John.

"What?! I think we've established that since I have been _handcuffed_ to you all day, you would have heard me telling people about our situation. It's not like I'm sending out some SOS signal telepathically." John said.

"No one's told me anything Elizabeth, it's just….well, I kind of figured you two have been together for a while now and after seeing you last night…I just assumed I understood why you were so relieved when I told you I'd found a key this morning." Carson said.

After seeing them last night? Elizabeth struggled again to piece together the missing parts of the previous evening. She couldn't remember a single thing she or John had done to act differently than they normally did around each other. John had been with her the entire night, one step behind her, watching her, protecting her as he always did. There had been punch, so much delicious refreshing punch. And there were moments of darkness that still eluded her memory. What had they done?

"Carson, what exactly did we-oh!" Elizabeth sucked in her breath as Carson began to examine her tender ankle.

"Well, Elizabeth, you've managed to get yourself a nasty sprain. You'll need to allow it to rest for the next several days. You can put ice on it from time to time to alleviate the swelling and use this bandage for compression when you move about. I trust that if I leave you in Sheppard's care, he will ensure to abide by doctors orders?" Carson directed towards John.

"I'll see to it." John said.

"Fine then, but if I see you are not taking care of yourself Elizabeth, remember I have authority to-"

"I know Carson, I'll behave, I promise." Elizabeth said through gritted teeth as she watched Carson and John acting as though she were a child.

"Yes love, I know you'll try. But sometimes trouble just seems to find you anyway." Carson coughed as he tried to suppress his laughter. "Here you go, Ronon sent this radio, he's off looking for Major Lorne. You two just stay put, we'll get it all sorted out for you."

Carson left the room and as the door shut firmly behind him, John turned his eyes towards Elizabeth's.

"What now?" He asked indignantly.

"You are never talking me into having another party again." She said. "John, there are moments I can't quite seem to account for last night. Did we do something, because everyone we've run into today seems to know we are together. It's starting to unnerve me a little, even more than being handcuffed to you."

"No, I'm sure of it, I would remember. Just relax and enjoy the time off work. We'll have the key in no time and then it will be the same crazy hectic frantic life on Atlantis we all know and love." John said squeezing her hand.

Elizabeth's smile wavered as she tried to return his. She would never admit to him that she was beginning to wonder if it was Atlantis itself she loved or if she loved Atlantis because she was here with John. Because every time he left her there alone when he was off world she'd found the city's splendor could never come close to filling the ache of homesickness that overcame her heart. But these were things they never said aloud to each other. They had come to depend upon their eyes to do the speaking for their hearts. And Elizabeth was beginning to question all the things that had yet to be said aloud.

"Sheppard, I'm with Lorne. We're in the infirmary. You might want to get up here." Ronon's voice on the radio broke her thoughts.

"What's going on?" John asked, his forehead crumpling adorably in concentration.

Lorne's voice piped through the radio. "It's Kavanaugh; he's causing problems as usual."

"Kavanaugh's awake?" Elizabeth was surprised he could be causing problems, surprised he would even be awake so soon after surgery

"Yes, well, it's Kavanaugh, what else do you expect. He's got the key and an explosive. He's threatening to tell the base everything unless you two get up here."

Elizabeth's eyes were burning when John turned to look at her. "What? I told you-"

"I know, I know. I would have heard you, we're handcuffed. Odd though how many people seem to realize this don't you think?" Elizabeth asked pointedly aware how absurd she sounded as she held her irrational anger at John above her concern over a crew member boasting an explosive device. It was Kavanaugh though; he'd never do anything that could potentially cause himself harm she rationalized.

John muttered something about coincidences as he slipped his free arm behind her back to help her to her feet. He hoisted her into his arms to cross the few steps from his quarters to the transport and she found she couldn't even enjoy the moment of being held by him, even though there were mercifully no staff members in the corridor to witness it. She was beginning to feel that she was missing something big and she didn't like the feeling of unease that had clouded over her.

A/N: One more chapter…this Halloween tale is finally almost over. But, Christmas is on the way… who knows what kind of fun I can find for them then. Thank you all for the reviews and story alerts.


	6. Chapter 6

Elizabeth struggled to hold the shawl in place as she stumbled along the corridor towards the infirmary. John attempted to help her as best as he could considering their situation. They slowly entered the infirmary unprepared for the circus awaiting them.

Ronon and Lorne stood on either side of Kavanaugh each with weapons raised. Kavanaugh was shaking and his skin was pale. Elizabeth could not fathom how he was even on his feet after surgery, and it appeared he had been quite busy. He held close to his chest a large device with a crystal glowing in its core and in his other hand dangled a tiny key. Somehow, he didn't manage to pull off the whole threatening demeanor thing. It could have been the hospital gown Elizabeth considered.

"Finally." He snarled. "Finally I can force you to tell them all how unfit you are to be leader of this exhibition. To be involved with your military commander, tsk, tsk Dr. Weir. Just think how happy the IOA and Stargate Command will be to hear of this." Kavanaugh's pale skin seemed to glow with his delight.

Before John or Elizabeth could respond, Dr. Keller walked up, oblivious to Lorne and Ronon holding weapons. She pulled the earbuds of her iPod from her ears as she looked down on Kavanaugh. "Hey, why are you out of bed. Oh, you found the key." She snatched it from his fingers before he even knew how to respond. "John and Elizabeth need this; they've been stuck together since Rodney handcuffed them last night."

"Since I did what? Hey, I've been looking for that!" McKay entered the room and pulled the crystal from the middle of the so called explosive device Kavanaugh had been holding. "Hey, what's that for?"

Elizabeth watched in shock as Rodney now pulled the key from Keller's hand. Kavanaugh slumped back into a chair behind him with a great huff as his terrible plan was defused with embarrassingly little effort. He probably should have waited until the pain medicine wore off Elizabeth thought.

"We'll take that." John said reaching forward.

McKay pulled the key back and away. "Why do you want this so badly?"

Keller sighed. "Rodney, catch up. You locked them up last night, hid the key. John and Elizabeth are still handcuffed to each other."

Elizabeth glanced sideways at John; he obviously hadn't remembered that little detail any more than she had.

"But…but…why would I do that?" McKay seeming innocence was bested by the comical appearance of the wig that was still atop his head.

"Because we were talking about what a great couple they were and you didn't believe us, said Sheppard would have told you. You said you'd prove it by handcuffing them together. But instead of getting angry, Sheppard just threw Elizabeth over his shoulder and took off with her. None of this ringing a bell?" Keller said.

Elizabeth felt the blood drain from her face. The holes in the night she couldn't account for, John had carried her off in front of the entire staff- while handcuffed? _They had all known?_

"No, Sheppard would have told me." McKay whispered.

"Give me the key" Ronon moved threateningly towards Mckay.

"No! He would have told me. Sheppard?" McKay said sadly.

"Rodney, how about the key?" John said.

"No." McKay said as Ronon took another step closer. "No, you can't make me, I will-"

"Ronon!" Elizabeth warned.

It was too late. McKay opened his mouth and tossed the key in, coughing somewhat as he choked it down.

"Oh...my god, Rodney!" Elizabeth couldn't believe her eyes.

"Damn it McKay! We all knew you had an unusual appetite, but this…." John shook his head towards him.

Elizabeth's eyes looked sadly at the shawl covering the handcuffs. It didn't really seem to matter as much now, it seemed as though their secret had escaped some time ago. They could just get one of the scientists to cut it off now.

"Lorne? Give me your key." John said.

Elizabeth's head snapped around so fast her neck hurt. She was just in time to see Lorne toss John a key, and she spotted the first time a flash of sparkle on Lorne's belt she'd never paid attention to before. Handcuffs.

"Sheppard, what are you doing?" McKay seemed shocked as he anticipated John's next movements.

Elizabeth herself though couldn't have anticipated John's actions. Key in hand, he bent towards Elizabeth. He kissed her softly on the lips before his hand reached under the shawl. As he unlocked their handcuffs his voice whispered in her ear. "Run."

She was in shock- had he known all along another key would unlock them? She glanced at Rodney's stunned face and realized John was right, they needed to get out of there fast, she could be angry at John later. "I can't run John." She glanced down to her ankle.

John nipped at her earlobe before planted a kiss before her ear. He then scooped her up in his arms and carried her away from the infirmary. She peered over John's shoulder and saw Lorne firmly handcuffing Kavanaugh back to the infirmary bed. As they exited the room, Elizabeth spotted Rodney's face- shocked with mouth hanging open. She giggled as she realized he was wondering how fast he would die from some kind of metallic poisoning from the key he'd just swallowed.

"Rodney, I can't believe you just swallowed that. And will you take off the wig already!" Keller said.

"OH MY GOD!" McKay's voice carried behind them. Elizabeth almost hated missing the look on his face when he realized he was still wearing the wig. Almost.

There was something powerful about allowing John to carry her through the hall now that she realized everyone knew about them- and didn't care. She felt a weight lifted from her shoulders, one she hadn't realized she'd borne as she passed the smiling faces of staff members on their way to the transport. She'd swear she'd heard cheers as John kissed her as the doors to the transport closed behind them.

John had done a good job of distracting her while he carried her back to her quarters. But as he set her down before her door, she felt her eyebrow raise in question. Why? If he had even thought another key could open the handcuffs, why would he have forced them to endure the indignities for so long? John pressed another kiss to her lips, silencing her question once again as her door opened.

"Woof!"

Elizabeth saw a flash of golden fuzz flying towards her. "Sedge!" She knelt down ignoring the pain in her ankle, tears of joy escaping as the large furball began to lap at her face.

She glanced up at John who was now smirking down upon her. Not his normal smirk though, it was more tender somehow. She could see John was proud that he had managed to do this for her. Exuberant almost in his subtle understated way. "How?" She asked.

"The Deadalus brought him; they were scheduled to arrive this morning. We had to keep you occupied and distracted. I wanted to surprise you. Happy late birthday Elizabeth." John said as the smirk dissolved into the serious expression that always made her heart twinge.

"But…how?"

"O'Neill was an easy sell, we sent Daniel to deal with Simon. And Sedge, well, he seems pretty happy to me." John's eyes were twinkling as Sedge let out a loud bark again.

John knelt down beside her and Sedge's tail seemed to pound the floor even louder. He seemed to like John, Elizabeth noted. John leaned in to kiss her and Sedge wiggled between their bodies. Elizabeth chuckled as she pulled away.

"Woof!" Sedge's body went rigid with his nose pointing toward the door.

"Sheppard! I know you're in there. This is unbelievable! You and Elizabeth! How could you not tell me! I am supposed to be your friend, your partner. Starsky totally would have told Hutch. At least told him he was still wearing a wig the day after Halloween! And you Elizabeth! How could you get involved with him! He is such a Kirk! Sheppard, you'd better not hurt her, I'll have to, oh this is unbelievable. I swallowed a key you know. A key! I could be dying from metallic poisoning. Sheppard? Elizabeth? Are you in there?" McKay's voice turned pitiful as it emerged through the door.

"John, we should-"Elizabeth was silenced as John's mouth clamped down on her own, his body moving now even closer to her own.

His hand twisted in her already chaotic curls. "It's not like he swallowed a lemon Lizabeth."

She allowed Rodney's voice to fall away as John's hands continued to make her nerves hum with pleasure as he eased her back onto the floor. Through her haze, she decided a Christmas holiday party might be a good idea after all. But she'd be sure to limit the punch.

A/N: Thank you all for reading, adding story alerts, and leaving reviews!


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